04-03-2025 --
Starting this hidden blog so I can write about things a bit less publically. I've been quitting cigarettes, but in the process relying heavilg on Cannabis vapes. Mostly I think it's an improvement, better for my health, mood, wallet, psyche and more. But it's probably contributing to me feeling very tired. And I'm worried about getting caught with it at the wrong time. I want to bring the use down, but not at the risk of smoking Nicotine again.
I'm going to try speed dating tomorrow. I haven't been on a date in 15 years, so of course it makes sense to go on 10 at once. I'm mostly excited but I feel like part of me's already decided that it won't lead to anything.
06-03-2025 --
I've exceeded my capacity. I forgot to got to art class this evening because I was busy... still thinking about yesterday (speed dating), talking to another girl on FB, going for a walk in the nice weather, trying to pick up Mum's BDay gift (multiple steps, already late, multiple layers of very important), quitting cigarettes, drinking and using THC too much, And I still haven't done my bus-pass, or my PIP application (100+ pages), or rebooked my karate tester, or tackled any of the HARD tasks (full flat clearout, moving homes or jobs, or even country, or not)! And they had the gall to ask me "which part of this feels overwhelming"?
I don't eat or sleep very well right now. I wish I could say it's mainly the quitting cigarettes, and I can imagine it ending soon. But it's alot of things.
I'm so upset I missed my art class, I LIKE my art class, I feel sick with disappointment.